I’ve come to a stage where I have to learn how to be critical towards myself as a human being. As we all grow older, the sense of selflessness usually goes away unless we are constantly enlightened in life since young. It’s not our fault, because there comes a natural progression of building up distrust and greed as a human being.
With that being said, I used to want to expect more in life. Getting greater rewards after a huge ordeal is so attractive and I can’t seem to stop to want that. I stopped being humble back then (well… kind off) and I didn’t really appreciate the teeny weeny bits of life like rain or a kind smile being directed at me. I was mainly aloof and indifferent towards other people’s needs. That was me. Or is me, still trying to get out of that bad habit.
What made me change then? Or what triggered my behaviour to try and ditch self-centeredness?
To be honest, I can’t really say the exact event. It’s only over time, I was more exposed to different kinds of people – happy, friendly, nasty and scary… Be it good or bad those experiences meeting different groups of people were, I soon realized a commonality within everyone – human hearts are naturally humble. I have never met a human being completely evil/nasty. Yes, they can be evil or unfriendly towards their families and friends (or humans in general) but another minute, they might be at the animal shelter volunteering or emptying their pockets to purchase pet food for the stray cats and dogs. Someone might hate animals to the core, but they might spare a change or two for the donation drive around the malls or for a homeless person sitting along the walkway. These people care because they feel the suffering or thought that these living things are going. And nobody wants to leave anyone behind, so that spirit of kindness still lives on.
I’ve seen many different types of kindness, and I am sure there are many forms of it which I have not heard of. I am not talking about the acts of our dear Mother Teresa, or one of the famous peace maker, Mahatma Ghandi. I’m talking about us “commoners” or those who don’t necessarily stand out in the crowd but exist for whatever reason there is to be. Honestly, after I volunteered at different occasions with friends or maybe just alone, I see first hand on what’s going on in the lives of the less fortunate. I do not pity these people who are going through hardships, but I applaud them for going through these problems strongly. & I definitely feel that I have a role to play – to ease them in facing their problems.
Thinking about it, I know I can’t help much in terms of financial matters but I do know how to put on a smile on another being’s face. That I feel, is such a small gesture or action but to be able to do that on someone else’s face, it’s a huge feat and honour. Who knows, you might make someone reconsider life choices? Sometimes I think a lot, a lot and also over thinking. But at a macroscopic level, I began to think that all forms of life is precious in their own way (unless they choose to screw up their life intentionally). And after going through tough life situations, I felt that little thoughtful gestures helped the most for me. People asking for my well being to people treating me food late at night – I really appreciate all of this. Even the smallest thank you sends my heart into flutters… I guess I am that corny? :O
But then again… what made me change?
After all the instances where I experienced small tit bits of life that makes me happy, I realized that great rewards do not make up all of the happy meter. I’m grateful I realized this at the early point in life – I will work hard to treasure all the little joy bubbles and spot them hiding too.
Great rewards come in small sizes too!