family, life, thoughts

Family is a Two-Way Street

Too many a times we feel restricted whenever family’s around. Our time would have to be tailored to their expectations and me-time may simply be non-existent.

Of course, as family have given us the most support (usually) during our years of growing up – be it financially, morally, emotionally et cetera – we just can’t disregard all the time, effort, blood and tears they have sacrifice and made just to make us who we are today. While there is a minority who have not had the experience of a family, many of us have had that experience.

The stage of independence becomes more forthcoming as our judgement and decisions increasingly depend on our own interests rather than our families’. What major? What job? While I can’t deny that some families give the total liberty/freedom for some to choose their future paths, many a times, families hold expectations upon the rest to live up to their hopes and dreams. This example is much more visible within the Asian community – doctor? Lawyer? Engineer? You must become one of these and earn a high-paying salary!

With great expectations, comes great pressures. (I’m being cool here, tweaking that With great power comes great responsibilities) Perhaps, all these have made us a little more… agitated with the word “family”. It seems hypocritical – families are supposed to support us with what we want to be, but why do families have such high expectations and want us to follow them through?

However, we often forget that the concept of family is a rather inclusive one. Like communication, family is oftentimes a two-way street. While some families (those rich, wealthy families) have expectations of their children and heirs/heiresses to take up Business and there are no ways around it, there is actually a degree of freedom in discussing our own future options with our families.

While it seems impossible as family hopes and dreams are built over the years and seem imposing, I truly believe that family (or more like our parents) want to hear our opinions and takes on how we want to live our lives. Imagine that! If we actually discuss how we want to pursue our interests and goals, our families might actually lax their stringent goals. By sharing and compromising about our dreams, family will take a stand and view us as more independent. In fact, this shows the product (which is you, essentially) of the hard work our families have put in in nurturing you as a human being. A thinking individual is always better than an individual who answers every beck and call of someone else.

This doesn’t mean that you have to deviate away from what your family hopes, though! Remember that family is a two-way street, similar to communication? As most of us treasure the support family provides, it is crucial for us to value what our families think about our choices. Also, with more viewpoints from family, you can see the loopholes in your plans for the future.

While I may seem to speak like everyone has a family, perhaps I would bring it to light that family need not be blood-related. Perhaps it’s the idea of support that creates a certain kind of family.

As we approach Christmas and New Years’, let’s put ourselves in retrospect of whatever happened throughout this year. While resolutions are not necessary, what could you have done better as a human being or a family member?

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