I must say that it’s only recently that I realised… (majority of my) Resolutions don’t work. I’ll start out with these tasks to do every day/week/month… Only to have myself sink into the seats and sigh in defeat. Only when I had the end in mind, things started to change. I started doing things in a different way when compared to the resolutions I initially set out to do. I’ve always wondered… why?
It’s a pain in the ass when I always have this pretty list of tasks I should fulfil every week….
Donate some pocket money to a homeless person.
Volunteer at least once a month.
Write a chapter of a story every week.
Run at least thrice a week.
Eat junk food on one day only per week… yada yada yada.
And when the third week of January comes… I burned out. Terribly. I had too many expectations on myself and keeping up to these benchmarks just doesn’t cut out for my poor 17 (and younger) selves. Only last year *cough yes dats right cough* I realised that having an end in my totally changed things.
I wanted to be healthier. Reason? I wanted to cut down on the number of visits to the doctor. (Trust healthcare to be quite expensive – around $50 per visit or more before CHAS was invented) I had a lot of medical conditions which made me much more vulnerable even though I did more sports than my mom + 2 sisters combined. (Dad’s a different story since he has chronic illnesses)
With this end in mind, every thing I picked up at the local mama shop (another word for provision shop whose owners are usually Indians) had myself questioning. Is it healthy? Can I find an alternative? Can I eat this next week? Do you want to fall sick? Do you want to feel fat?
Yes. That last question was right. I am on the heavier side of the weighing scale (but not overweight) and I’ve always been teased about how chubby I looked by my family members – thanks fam. It does hurt my self esteem so everytime I pick up a piece of chocolate, I really questioned myself over and over. It’s not that I’m starving myself of the artificial goodies but… do I really want to stuff myself with them? (Well I think I’m not so bad… I don’t ever starve myself of the necessities like rice or bread or chicken/beef/fish)
All I wanted to be was to be healthier.
At the end of the year aka 2014, I felt… healthier. Indeed, I do. I didn’t lose any weight but neither did I gain. I had more muscles because I did more walking, sports and volunteering. What did I do? All I had was to have the want to become healthier.
I didn’t really have this list of tasks to do weekly because I knew I will definitely have unforeseen circumstances popping up everywhere. Plus, last year was A level year, leaving me with very little room to exercise. in the end, it’s the small things that really matter which made my end in mind much more significant, rather than all those (I must say pointless) daily tasks I set at the start of the year.
I know I am 6 days late into writing what goals I have in mind for this year.. but here goes:
Be fitter. I don’t care how I’m going to do it but I will definitely do some regular exercising and healthier eating at my own time.
Be a little more patient and understanding. Super intangible to achieve… but hey, just do it.
Work. Save up your money. Stop spending on things that you’ll just throw out a month later. You do want to go to Colorado in January right…
I don’t have any more goals in mind for this year. Perhaps be a little nicer. I don’t know. But there are no daily tasks to do. Life’s not a straight line after all… and the shortest distance is not a line too!
What are your…. *cough* resolutions/goals for this year? 🙂