I’m trying to write a bit more often now, because I’m really bad with words – verbally and through writing. Maybe through these short posts I’ll try to express how I feel every now and then, and one day… I’ll look back to read how I’ve changed as a person in terms of viewpoints and more.
But anyway, this issue has always been stuck in my mind for quite a while. Currently I owe a few friends money and I can’t wait for pay day to come so that I can pay them back in full. It’s been difficult when people are so nice to me and lend me stuff (like money) but I can’t pay them back in the shortest amount of time possible.
There is always that feeling of guilt because I hate owing people stuff, especially money. After working so much and falling sick much more often, I realised the value of money even more today. It doesn’t come easy – and for people to lend it to me so selflessly makes me feel burdened because it is their hard-earned money and I’m just borrowing it like that?
This even goes to my family. I don’t like to take my mom’s money (my dad never gives me money without expecting greater things in return. I will only ask him as a last resort). Or even my sister. It just makes me feel weird. Granted, they sometimes just put some money in my wallet/piggy bank or transfer to my bank account when I don’t realise but I haven’t been depending on them for a few months now.
Perhaps the only thing I’d like to borrow from people is time. A friend-slash-colleague figured out that I wanted people’s time. And that’s true. I feel like life on Earth is so short and I don’t have much time to spend with every single person I cherish so much.
I’m still learning to cherish the time I have and devaluing money because I feel like experience & memories cannot be substituted with anything else.
Ahh… my thoughts are now dry. Till the next one.